Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong.
If you were thinking that I was going to do a review about the recent movies that I have seen (in the queued are The Other Guys, and The Switch), I will not be doing that tonight. Instead, I will take you a journey through time... to 2005.
Remember that year? I was a sophomore in the university, still drinking and partying away (although to SOME, I wasn't partying at ALL), and trying really hard not to be seen as a nerd, but epically failing. Bush was still president, running the country into the ground and Facebook was but a year into the launch date and was only offered to few selected colleges across the nation (UW being one of them, of course) and you had to be a college student to join (thus doing away with those pesky high schoolers and no real threat of your own mother finding out about your many blackout incidents).
Yes it was 2005 that Kingdom of Heaven graced the silver screens. Fresh off Gladiator's huge Oscar success, director Ridley Scott tackled a flimsy and possibly epic subject: The Crusades.
Don't forget, the script was written by William Monahan, whom went onto write The Departed in 2006, earning him an Oscar. You would think that this movie should not fail.... considering the talent already at hand, but it did. Terribly. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a mere 39%!! Ouch. This actually comes as no surprise since the film is led by the ever-so-delicate Orlando Bloom. This man played an Elf for the first three movies of his career, only to play a bitchy butt-pirate. His manhood in the Hollywood scene was at a devastating all-time low... until Kingdom of Heaven.
This movie is, and I will go on record saying this, the ONLY movie that makes Orlando Bloom even remotely seem like a man. Call it his greatest advantage or the greatest flaw; but the man looks and acts like a giant pussy. This movie redeems him of that manhood he lost probably during his school days "playing" with his best mates. Ew.
Synopsis... The story follows Balian of Ibelin (played by Orlando Bloom) and his journey through the heap of mess that is The Crusades. The time set is 12th Century, and if you know your history, it's around the Second Crusades. The great Egypt-Sultan Saladin conquers Jerusalem back for the Muslims. If you really know your history, Balian of Ibelin actually existed in the history books during the Second Crusades. It is also true that he was a crusader during the 12th century and was present during the siege of Jurusalem by Saladin himself. But the historical accuracy just about stops there. I'll get to that a bit later.
The plot is rather simple in its core: A man from nothing rises up to meet his destiny when life and God along with it threw him out of grace. This man-meets-destiny story has been told thousands of times and it is designed to be a fail-safe formula in Hollywood movies. Keep in mind that Gladiator was the same exact themed movie. People love to see good looking people go from zero to hero. This Balian goes from being a blacksmith to a knight, placing him in the pinnacle moment in history as the man who gave back Jurusalem to the Muslims in a respectable but rather peaceful manner. Whooray.
Cast... Orlando Bloom everybody. I won't go into too much with this kid, for I exhausted him earlier, but given the character, it definitely could have been someone else. Heck, I could have played the character and would have been more fitting. This is saying a lot because I would never look like a crusader from Tripoli. I mean what the hell. This movie only works because of the ensemble of great cast that aided Orlando. Liam Neeson is always great at everything he does (he was Schindler for god's sake... he saved shit-load of Jews!) and is always great at being a teacher to a lesser and unfortunate person (Orlando). The talented and underrated Eva Green plays Sibylla the Queen of Jerusalem. In the movie, she's the love interest of Balian, which is historically hella false and gives Sibylla a credit that she neither deserved or earned.
Sibylla actually teamed up with the bad guy (Guy of Lusignan) to overthrow the King of Jerusalem only to regret it later. That's about it. She was a no-good Queen the f*cked everything up.... but Eva Green was great.
Marton Csokas played Guy of Lusignan and he plays it great because he indeed is a hateful person that you wished would die already throughout the whole movie. He actually never does, but not to worry, Jason Bourne kills him (chokes the shit outta him) in the movie Bourne Supremacy. Justice is served.
Other worthy mention is King Baldwin played by the great Edward Norton. A lot of actors turned down this role simply because the character is behind a mask the whole of the movie. C'mon. Couldn't you act with your body language and the delivery of the lines enough to show the viewers that it indeed is you? Edward did.
Story... Completely fucked from the actual history. Within the history books, Balian was always a royalty, getting Ibelin from his brother. Which means, no Liam Neeson. Secondly, as mentioned above, Sibylla never had a thing to do with Balian, because Balian was happily married to a wife and had kids (unlike the movie, which states apparently Balian is a blacksmith and his wife killed herself after losing a child... WTF? That's some 180 degrees shit right there). Sure, Guy of Lusignan was a conniving and ridiculously bad man, but Sibylla was in that shit with Guy. And other knights helping Balian in the movie were actually fighting with Guy for the possession of Jerusalem the whole time the Second Crusades was going on. No wonder Saladin just waltzed right in.
Want to know a damndest thing? King Baldwin was actually Sibylla's son, not brother, like it was portrayed in the movie. Was making Sibylla old seem that bad of an idea? I genuinely think that if pressed, William Monahan can write up an interesting and compelling story line out of an existing history!
Conclusion... Overall, my negativity toward the movie was more on the historical side than the fun. I actually love movies like this, taking religion apart to make you think of it a bit more. Sure, the movie never delves into religion deeply enough for you to truly disagree or agree with anything, except for the fact that people believe in different religions and the extremists of any religious denominations have existed as long as religions themselves have been around.
Moreover, this movie, being a time-frame set around the Crusades, I would like to point your mind to those who would use religion as a weapon to vanquish all that they are not, and also all that they cannot be. Hate almost always is born out of ignorance and the fear of being unaware of something else and new of the world. It is truly sad to see that even today, religious factions spill blood over the holy land. There is a quote from the movie that I want you to read...
What is Jerusalem? Your (Christians) holy places lie over the Jewish temple that the Romans pulled down. The Muslim places of worship lie over yours. Which is more holy? The wall? The Mosque? The Sepulcher? Who has claim? No on has claim. All have claim!
I actually think that line alone makes the movie good enough to watch from time to time. What is holy? If you ask me, it's entirely up to you. One's soul is for the one to keep. It is in your heart and in your mind. Someone once told me that faith is a gift and that should you receive it, you should treasure it for all of your life. Why? Faith gives something so pure and powerful: Hope. Hope is incredibly underrated yet constantly talked and reviewed over, because it gives people an undying strength to carry on when not even a string of light is being shined upon them.
Religion should be about faith and faith alone.
K.
