The Happiest Place on Earth

Disneyland. Almost all of us have been there once or twice in our lifetime. Almost always fun, and almost always amazing. Disney, I forgive you for being a racist (somewhat). I know I usually do movies, but I can't pass up this opportunity to dissect the one of most beloved theme parks of the world: Disneyland

Background... Located in Anaheim, this California city was about 40 minutes from our hotel, the Westin. Side note: whatever you do, do not stay at the Westin. The room was okay, but service? What service!! I had a terrible time just getting more towels. Do yourself a favor. Serious.

Moving on. Disneyland opened on July 18, 1955 to a record breaking 15.9 million people visiting in that same year. The park has grown since then, adding on the Disney's California Adventure and also the Disney Resort. Within the park there are seven main "themed" areas; Main Street, USA, Adventureland, Fantasyland, Tomorrowland, along with Frontierland, Critter Country, and Mickey's Toontown.

The park boasts an impressive fireworks show every night, along with many other live shows you can catch. The rides are awesome, and the rest? Go to Wikipedia yourself and find out.

Rides... We started out in Tomorrowland. After getting our first "Fast Pass" to Buzz Lightyear: Astro Blasters, we waited for our first ride, Space Mountain. We passed by EO, the Michael Jackson ride... and we didn't want to go on it, because from the poster itself, the ride looked really creepy. Space Mountain is one of my favorite rides at Disneyland for one reason: the whole of the ride is in the dark. completely. This makes it just amazing. They dip you, flip you, sink you, the works; all the while you not knowing where the hell you're going. They used to have two carts going on at once, allowing you to pass by the other cart (making it THAT much better) but to my disappointment, they are not doing that anymore.

Astro Blasters was a simple shoot-up ride, mostly for kids. You basically shoot at various targets for various points. I got a whopping 174,000 points with nothing to show for it, for the system never took a picture of me. WTF Disneyland.

We then ate lunch and walked over to get a fast pass to Indiana Jones ride. Rode the It's a Small World ride, which frightened the hell out of me. On another note, I didn't know prior to riding It's a Small World that the whole ride had the song repeating itself... which torments my dreams to this day.

Then we went to Frontierland for the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride. This wasn't that fun, but it was short wait.

After, we shot over to Adventureland for the Pirates of Caribbean and Haunted Mansion rides. Remember this when you go to Disneyland next time, you WILL get wet during the Pirates of Caribbean ride. We didn't know.

Before going on the Indiana Jones ride, we had some time for Splash Mountain. Tina wasn't happy about this, but we forced her anyway, and we got soaked!

Side note: Good job Disneyland, for making all those characters move and feel real when riding just about any ride (minus It's a Small World). This kept the interest going, not to mention the fun. Good job for warping me into a different world every time I went on a ride. This has to be the reason people keep coming back to Disneyland. It's just plain old fun. For the whole family. Oh, speaking of families... I'll get to that later.

Then before we knew it, Indiana Jones. Had to be the favorite for the whole group, and was a great ending to the rides for the day. The lines leading up to the ride is fantastic in itself, with all the markings and engravings, props along the way; no doubt George Lucas had a hand in this. They did a really good job pulling you into the world of Indiana Jones and keeping you there. The ride itself? Just entertaining as all hell. You sit in a Jeep that takes you on a really cool ride, filled with all of favorite parts of the movies. Indiana makes a few appearances as well.

Another side note: For some reason, I thought the ride was longer. I remember from last time that there were a lot more components. Was I tripping? We'll never know. After further research, no, they didn't change it. Weird.

After all of that, we shot over to Toontown and met Mickey and the whole bunch. Bought a lot of stuff, too. While I was there, two different moms were terrified because they misplaced their children. Amazing.

To top it all off, we waited patiently for the fireworks. Disney didn't disappoint. I won't tell you much about it, but the synchronization of music and fireworks was dead-on, and the show was entertaining as always. It really is a must. I recommend.

Bad Parenting... You will see plenty of that at Disneyland. First off, strollers EVERYWHERE and with that territory comes moms and dads yelling at kids to stay with the group ALL DAY LONG. You will see one of those animal leashes for the kids, or just plain ropes (not lying). You will see family reunions wearing same shirts and being really hella loud. You will see pissed off dads or moms waiting in line for a ride and not wanting to put up with their kids.

Side note: Why don't you NOT bring your kids if they are too little to ride any of the fucking rides?! I mean... WTF! What, did you come for yourselves and not the kid? And how about playing with your kids during the line so they don't get bored? Oh, I'm sorry that you have to do that at DISNEYLAND! It's obvious that you came for your kid, so how about letting your kid have everything for the day? I mean Jesus Christ! I saw a dad yelling at the mom for not wanting to carry her purse while the mom rides one ride with their daughter. I saw a mom yelling at a kid for wanting an ice-cream. I saw a kid crying on a bench while his mom talked on the phone. Wow. Wow.

But there were happier notes to also state. I saw family reunions genuinely having fun just being around family. I saw countless couples having the time of their lives. I saw a dad doing all that he can to make his daughter laugh while waiting in line for 75 minutes. I also saw a man (me) convincing a frightened woman (Tina) to ride one of the biggest ride in the park. Good memories have more impact every time over the bad. It was a good day.

Conclusion... Disneyland indeed is the happiest place on Earth. Even with all the yelling and screaming, with having to wait for just about everything, we had a great time. We were so tired by the end of the day, but I welcome that type of tiredness any day.